How To Survive An Affair With Or Without Expert Help?

 Surviving an affair - can your relationship come through this devastating occurrence? Are you unsure what to do or how to fix things? Find out what options are available to you and best tips for making the right decisions for your life.

Many couples have the best chance of success when they hire a professional relationship counselor but this is not an affordable option for everyone. This is written with the hope that you will take away important concepts when it comes to dealing with an affair and introduce you to a more economical and feasible alternative to marriage counseling.

One important thing to understand - the situation you find yourself in is one of the most painful and difficult life situations there is. Not only are you trying to come to grips with the fact that this affair took place, you're also trying to decide whether or not your marriage is worth saving.

The best way to get through this devastating situation is to face it directly.

The bottom line is whether you and/or your partner are willing to try and rebuild a healthier relationship, or if the final decision (and it may be your sole decision) is to leave the relationship.

Rushing A Decision About Your Relationship Can Be Costly

It goes without saying that these two choices are ones that you would never take lightly. You may feel pressured to make a decision, but in reality…do you need to be hasty?

Finding out that your partner had an extra marital affair is something that changes both your lives and making your next decision going forward is also a permanent and life changing event. Of course, this decision impacts your whole family.

It is not unusual to experience confusion and a host of other emotions while trying to come to the best decision about your future. Getting control of your emotions is crucial for making the right decision for you and your family members. If you are having trouble keeping your thoughts clear because of hurtful negative emotions, it is best to refrain from making quick or impulsive decisions. You could end up doing more harm than good until you're in the right frame of mind - you need to have clarity and control.

To survive an affair it's important to figure out what led to your partner's affair. Looking back you may start to see that you also played a part in things and could have made some different choices. You may come to the conclusion that if your marriage had another opportunity to flourish these mistakes would not happen again. If this is the case, then you may decide that you'd like to try again to make things work.

Maybe it's more the case that your partner gave up on the relationship and it feels like they are more to blame for what happened (he or she was the one who cheated, after all). Or it could be that you were both at fault, in one way or another.

One important issue is to determine if the trust is permanently gone or is there hope that you will once again be able to trust your partner. Many times the person who is the victim in the affair is unsure whether or not their partner's affair is truly over.

It comes down to - can you look in the mirror and state beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can get the trust back? This may not be a question you can answer right now, but it is the crux of the matter.

Even after you've had a chance to analyze the situation thoroughly and you're fairly certain you're making the right decision you may still want the opinion of a neutral third party. You can try and follow the advice from friends, but just understand that their perspectives could be jaded and biased. The last thing you want is to end up making a poor life choice due to bad advice.

If you want another opinion, your best option is to get the insights from an expert who has helped hundreds, if not thousands of couples who found themselves in the situation you now find yourself.